Graaf Statler wrote:
This comment is irrelevant to context. It does not look at what was actually being done, but makes an overall generalization with no evidence at all. I did come to a conclusion that Graaf was, on occasion at least, being deliberately provocative. But his reactions are so erratic that it's difficult to assess what is really going on.
Quote was mangled. Restored in red.
Funny, often I have exacte the same opinion about you. Because often I find your reactions so erratic that it's difficult to assess what is really going on. And I think something is broken in you, so the big question who of the two of us is right?
That is never the big question. The big question is always, "What's real?"
I could write much more. Graaf's description of what happened is heavily distorted.
But, we don't have any fight or conflict on our personal level . But I think Abd is in the spectrum and I not and that gives this effect., without any value judgment because as long we are not talking about Wikipedia we are best friends. And well, for me can Wikipedia complete burn down, so where is the problem? I don't have any personal problem with Abd
And I believe that he believes that. But he behaves as if he has a very severe problem. I can see what he's written first draft on the server before he edited it, and it is often extreme reaction, obviously very angry.
Vigilant is a hater and if he says "get help," he is saying it with contempt.
But I do agree that something is broken and that Graaf might be happier if he can address it. He loves the Orthodox monasteries and that life, but the way he behaves would never be tolerated in that atmosphere.
I have gone through extensive therapy, with experts, for many years. I have never been diagnosed or suspected of being "in the spectrum," which is unclear, but I think from other things he has written is about the autism spectrum. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and the diagnosis was not only very clear, it is heritable and my older brother, as a teenager, was actually an early Ritalin trial participant, when the drug was experimental for "hyperactivity."
ADHD is a social developmental disorder which also is coupled in some with high function. It can lead me to see things that others have difficulty seeing, among other things. Unmanaged, it can cause social dysfunction. But I've been working with that for years. Communicating what I see and understand will probably always be a challenge.
Graaf proposes a question, almost as if there is no answer except "forget about it." We clearly have two very different perceptions of the situation. So what can be done if you and a friend see things very differently? One possibility is to just set it all aside, as if it is unimportant, and perhaps it is.
However, this disagreement has cropped up over many, many topics, and is not merely a difference of opinion about something. There is more to it than that. It is not just about "Wikipedia." So is there something that can be done? Well, yes, if there is someone whom both people trust. Is there? Is there someone Graaf would trust?
Because something deep is being triggered here, I think, a mutual friend might decline to mediate. But it's not impossible.
Graaf is a man of his word, I'll testify to that. If he agrees to respect a mediation he will follow it, even if it's difficult.